Sir Charles does Crossfit!

So you guys know by now that I drink the Crossfit kool-aid.  Some of you have even had the stones to come try it with me.  Well Charles Barkley himself does Crossfit... kinda.

http://www.nba.com/insidethenba/?p=502374&s=5083307&i=938264

Get off your ass...

Alright, last week I shared an article about the risks associated with too much sugar.  This week, the NY Times published an article about the health risks of too much sitting.  It's nothing groundbreaking; it doesn't take a PhD to figure out that being sedentary has negative health effects.  The article is still worth a read.  So for those keeping score at home, no sugar and no sitting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17sitting-t.html?_r=1

Healthy Pickles

I know that this blog has thus far been primarily used for humor and it will continue to be used in this fashion.  However, occasionally I would like to throw in a serious topic or two.  I want the readers of SPB to not only be the brightest and most respected men in the world, I want them to be the healthiest and fittest.  That is why I will be writing a few articles in the near future about nutrition and exercise.

An article has been making its way through the blogs and message boards I read on health and nutrition.  The title of the article in the NYT Magazine is Is Sugar Toxic?  Its a bit long but great for a Friday afternoon read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17Sugar-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 

In short, the article discusses the theory that sugar could be responsible for many of the health problems we face today.  There is still not enough evidence to indite sugar as the root of all health evils, but the case against it is certainly gaining steam.  Below is a short exerpt that sums the article up quite nicely:

When Glinsmann and his F.D.A. co-authors decided no conclusive evidence demonstrated harm at the levels of sugar then being consumed, they estimated those levels at 40 pounds per person per year beyond what we might get naturally in fruits and vegetables — 40 pounds per person per year of “added sugars” as nutritionists now call them. This is 200 calories per day of sugar, which is less than the amount in a can and a half of Coca-Cola or two cups of apple juice. If that’s indeed all we consume, most nutritionists today would be delighted, including Lustig.

But 40 pounds per year happened to be 35 pounds less than what Department of Agriculture analysts said we were consuming at the time — 75 pounds per person per year — and the U.S.D.A. estimates are typically considered to be the most reliable. By the early 2000s, according to the U.S.D.A., we had increased our consumption to more than 90 pounds per person per year.

That this increase happened to coincide with the current epidemics of obesity and diabetes is one reason that it’s tempting to blame sugars — sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup — for the problem. In 1980, roughly one in seven Americans was obese, and almost six million were diabetic, and the obesity rates, at least, hadn’t changed significantly in the 20 years previously. By the early 2000s, when sugar consumption peaked, one in every three Americans was obese, and 14 million were diabetic.

Pretty compelling argument if you ask me.

Some of you may know that I have started following (albeit loosely) a new diet, the Paleo diet.  I hesitate to call it a diet because that is usually associated with fads like the South Beach Diet and others.  Paleo is more of a lifestyle change than a diet.  I will save the lengthy explanation for another article but simply put, the Paleo diet eliminates processed foods from your daily intake. 

I think one of the problems with typical American diets is that we don't realize how much sugar - glucose - we are eating.  Most people don't realize that bread, potatoes, and other starches contain glucose.  What is the base layer of the food pyramid that we were all taught growing up?  Breads, cereals, and pastas.  This means that we have been programmed from a young age to consume high levels of glucose.  Therefore I believe it is no coincidence that obesity and diabetes are at an all-time high.

Now contrast the Paleo pyramid below to the FDA pyramid above.  Notice anything different?

Now why would the two be so dramatically different?  There is no way that the FDA could come out with a food pyramid that suggested we not eat breads and grains.  The Nestles, Conagras, and General Mills of the world would never let that happen.  They make too much money and are in too many pockets.

Now I don't follow the Paleo diet to a T, I love cookies too much (I had one while writing this article) and its just plain hard to do.  However, since I have reduced my processed food intake, and subsequently my glucose intake, I have felt much much better.

They might not be able to prove yet that sugar is the culprit, but one thing is for sure... they definitely aren't coming out with any studies showing the health BENEFITS of sugar.  So in my mind its pretty simple, be on the safe side and start cutting back the sugar intake.

Country Living

The Tan Man's fearless sidekick.

Chapstick

Gay/Not Gay/European: Cherry Chapstick

Hello Picklers,

Welcome to the first edition of Gay, Not Gay, or European (also known as Tigh, Garrett, or David Beckham).  This is a blatant and unabashed rip-off of a segment on the Ticket radio station. 

The idea to put this segment on SPB came during our long, grueling, and manly mountain bike session this weekend (one that still has me limping like an 80 year old woman).  A guy rode by wearing a full spandex biking outfit.  This sparked a gay/not gay conversation.  For the record, I'm saying not gay.  Also, during the ride the conversation kept casually returning to Casey giving everyone Handy Js.  Not sure why.

The first topic of debate for Gay, Not Gay, or European is cherry chapstick.  This topic was brought forth to the committee by Tigh and I have a strong suspicion that he wants to use this forum to convince himself and others that cherry chapstick is an acceptable male product. 



Sebastian doesn't think cherry chapstick is gay.  Do you?

 I envision this exchange taking place as Tigh walked into his place of employment Monday morning.  The following scene take place in the elevator:

Tigh's Boss (enters elevator as Tigh is re-applying said cherry flavored chapstick):  Morning Stephen... was that... chapstick?  Cherry flavored chapstick?

Tigh (embarrassingly stuffing the stick back in his pocket):  Morning.  Uh.. yes sir.  My lips are chapped from my mountain bike ride this weekend.

Tigh's Boss:  Are you gay son?  Are you a middle school girl about to suck her first dick?  Are your lips chapped from mountain biking or from an all-night sausage buffet?

Tigh:  Wow sir, I don't think that was appropriate to say in this crowded elevator.  No sir I'm not gay.  It's just chapstick which is manly as old spice.

Tigh's Boss:  No, its not just chapstick Susie.  Its cherry chapstick.  Why don't you just slap a Gay Pride sticker on your man-purse and give $1 BJs in the men's room?

Tigh:  Well... uh... sir... it came in a variety pack and I didnt want to just throw it away.

Tigh's Boss:  Why did you buy a variety pack, Sally?  One for each flavor of cock you want to swallow?

Tigh:  Sir this is getting uncomfortable.  It's just chapstick. 

Tigh's Boss:  Whatever you say Stephanie.

So what do you think SPBers?  Gay?  Not gay?  European?  Leave your comments below (Tigh, if you can't figure out how to comment, send it to me or Ian and we will do it for you).

Time to Name My Trophy

After spending the morning watching episodes of The League instead of working, I have decided our trophy, to be created before next season, needs a name. Time to start brainstorming boys.

How about the Clounch Crown and when we refer to it we say Clounch in a guttural grunt. We can give her cigarettes and giant bottle of McCormacks as offerings prior to the playoffs.

Maybe just the Yetti. We can roar and gargle. We can get close and rub noses with it. Take it home late after a game and then wake up crying.

Or someone we all thought was gorgeous.

The Leach. The Tuna Trophy. The Gates Memorial. Let's hear your ideas. Post suggestions in the comments area and we will take the top four and put it in a poll to decide. Get that brain working and impress me with your sardonic wit. You degenerates.

Fantasy Gold

Gentleman,

I would like to point out that with my Tournament Pick ‘Em gold trophy I now have a first place trophy in every fantasy sport we play. This brings me to a tough a decision; do I keep playing or simply retire and take on a position as fantasy consultant?

In making this decision, I decided to take a look at the Overall Performance percentage for some of the people in our league.

As much as it pains me to say this Anthony sat at the top of the stack with 55%. He also only had 24 eligible teams. I guess the hours of devotion has paid off. Good job my friend. The consultant's consultant.

G-Money with 50%, not bad, but I would like to point out the number of third place finishes. I'll applaud that glorious gold football trophy but the rest is just sad. The trick to gold in baseball this year is Nick Markakis, let me know when you are ready for him. By the way, I thought they changed from gold soccer trophies to miniature Michael Jackson trophies.


The basketball beast J-Rose had 48%.

I also sit at 48% which isn't the best but...damn I have a lot of gold trophies. I'm king of hot or cold. Last or first. I go for broke baby. Gamble big and sometimes it will payoff, like taking Markakis this year who is batting .430 5 games in. He is perfect for that second spot in the lineup behind Roberts, and in front of the power hitters Vlad and Derek Lee. Another gold is on the horizon! Markakis will piggy back that trophy and drop it at my feet. Whoa!

Cheeshead Abel with 45%, not bad just play more you only have 15 eligible teams. Three gold football. Nicely done but two of them are from '07.

Tigh with only 44% but I can't say much because he is just pulled off the back-to-back. Fierce. Keeps all of us on our fantasy toes with his smooth trash talking and excellent draft complaints.

Face with 41% but 65 eligible teams. Devotion and dedication will eventually lead you down the road to success.

Next was J-Mart with 31%. I spit my coffee on myself and moved on.

In reality we have a great league. I love nerding out and obsessing over the numbers with you guys. I like the smack talk when we all get together, I like the never ending talk of trade possibilities and I like seeing Rose get mad when those trades get vetoed. Let's keep this up for as long as we all can and we really need to try and get together on Sundays this year for football (if there is football).

"Andre: What do you mean, there are different levels of friendship?
Taco: Yeah, definitely.
Ruxin: Look, there's the United Nations, then there's the Security Council, okay?
[Motions to the whole group of Pete, Kevin, Taco, Andre and himself]
Ruxin: United Nations...
[points to Pete and Kevin]
Ruxin: Security Council.
[Points to Andre]
Ruxin: GHANA."

"Andre: Where were you at, man?
Taco: I was just having sex with some girl in a Prius. I love having sex in Priuses, 'cause you're not only having sex, you're saving the environment too."

Rangers Opening Day

 Opening Day is here… finally! 

As a Rangers fan, this offseason was different than any other I have experienced.  Usually, I could care less what was happening at Spring Training.  Usually, I am focused on the Mavs and Stars and the Rangers are out of mind.  Usually, I don’t spend hours contemplating the Rangers potential opening day line-up with friends.  But usually, the Rangers don’t make it to the World Series!

Last season was phenomenal.  It finally brought some hope back to Rangers fans.  I remember seeing a license Plate with the Rangers insignia that said “NXT YR”.  So true.  It was always next year.  Next year we will get pitching.  Next year our rookies will pan out.  Finally Rangers fans are thinking THIS year!

I thought it might be fun to take a look at today’s starting line-up compared to those in years past.  Today’s probable line-up looks like this:

2B Ian Kinsler
SS Elvis Andrus
LF Josh Hamilton
3B Adrian Beltre
DH Michael Young
RF Nelson Cruz
1B Mike Napoli
C Yorvit Torrealba
CF Julio Borbon

SP CJ Wilson

When you have Nelly Cruz hitting 6^th, I think you are gonna put up some runs!  Here is what the opening day line-ups have looked like going back to the year I was born, 1985:

Check out the All-Roid All Stars in 2001!

There aren’t words to explain last year’s playoffs. It was amazing.  I never thought I would get to see a Rangers World Series game but I did.  Unfortunately the result was not good, but at least I got to see it.

Five hours until the new season!  It’s Time!