Confucius Say...

When I was but a wee lad, a few young Buddhist monks came to my door.  They explained to my parents (though a series of drawings and hand gestures)  that they believed I was the re-incarnation of Confucius and asked to take me back to their monastery in the Himalayas.  My parents, who were impressed at how quickly I had learned not to stick crayons in my nose , agreed that I was special and allowed them to take me. 

After a few years as a samanera eating only in the morning and meditating for days at a time, it became evident that a mistake had been made.  I had not said anything even remotely profound since I had arrived.  (Don’t get me wrong, I am still smarter than all of you I just wasn’t Confucius smart.) 

Normally, I would have been returned to my family with a basket of rice as an apology.  However, I had become the best yak rider in the monastery and helped our monastery win numerous intra-monastery yak riding championships so I was allowed to stay.  Not long after, the true re-incarnation of Confucius was found.  I studied under him for many months and learned many things.  I returned to the States with many scrolls of parchment filled with notes I took.  I have determined it is time to give you all a glimpse into the teachings of Confucius.

Confucius say…

• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
• Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
• Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.