Tis the season...

Summer. It's the season of lounging by the pool, backyard BBQs, girls in bikinis, baseball, the NBA Finals, and most importantly... interns.

That's right. Nothing gets me more excited than a fresh batch of summer interns attempting to pack their resumes full of work "experiences". If your Company is anything like mine, then your HR office is completely incompetent and repeatedly hires the most socially awkward interns possible. Bad for the Company, terrific for me!

Last year's minivan driving, UT-attending, Panamanian, walking corpse of an intern punctuated his internship by delivering a rousing speech that ended with, "Thanks for not yelling at me."

I thought I still had a week before I could have the pleasure of laughing at some interns dumb mistakes. Imagine my extreme excitement when I didn't even have to wait until they started to get my first good laugh.

Below is part of an e-mail sent to my counterpart:

I had a few questions that I was told by my campus recruiter to address to you.
1. Will I be provided with parking in Dallas downtown? I will be driving to work and as far as downtown parking goes, I dont think it will be easy to find parking there. This is one of my biggest concerns because I am not good with parallel parking. Hence, it would really help out if I was provided a parking spot or a garage. Please do let me know what Bank of America can do about this concern I have.
2. For the orientation/training, will I be reimbursed for the transportation (taxi) and any other expenses (food)?
I am excited to start work on 8th June. Hopefully I wont let you all down.

I'm going to go ahead and say that "Hopefully I won't let you all down" is not a very confident way to finish an e-mail. But please future intern do not worry, you are already well on your way to exceeding my expectations. All you must do is continue to be awkward and write incredibly dumb e-mails and you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams (at least in my book.)

It's going to be a good summer!