This is why Dupstep is awesome.

Large Hardon Collider: The End

The vastness and complexity of the universe is inconceivable to the human race but in an effort to better understand the ever-expanding phenomenon physicists from around the globe have created a device that allows man to play God. In 2008, science saw the introduction of the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest and highest-energy synchrotron. Synchrotrons are particle accelerators in which the magnetic field (to turn the particles so they circulate) and the electric field (to accelerate the particles) are carefully synchronized with the travelling particle beam. It is designed to collide particle beams of either protons or neutrons.

The LHC, located near Geneva, Switzerland, was a collaboration of over 10,000 scientists from over 100 countries and hopes to test various predictions of high-energy physics. Physicists hope the LHC will help to discover a new particle called the Higgs boson and to further understand “the theory of everything,” a single theory which can explain

all fundamental forces of the universe. Albert Einstein tried to shed light on this theory for the last 30 years of his life but never quite figured it out. He hoped it would help us “read the mind of God”.

As you can imagine the creation of this machine came with a lot of criticism. A major concern from a lot of critics is it could create multiple black holes that would eventually devour the earth. While this has not yet happened, in March it created quark-gluon plasma; the densest form of matter ever observed.

According to David Evans, a physicist from the University of Birmingham in the U.K., a cubic centimeter of this stuff would weigh 40 billion tons and the only thing denser is a black hole. He said the material is 100 thousand times hotter than the inside of the sun.

This form of matter may have been what the entire universe was in the immediate aftermath of the Big Bang but only for a few millionths of a second. It instantly vanished and condensed into protons and neutrons and other particles that makeup the current state of the universe.

So does this mean we could create our own universe like some sort of ant farm? Are we a universe in a machine that someone else created? Possibly we are a universe in a locket around a dog’s neck (via Men in Black).

I’m not sure how this will affect us but the idea of playing with matter that was possibly part of the universe’s beginning is exhilarating. I would like to know more about what the benefits are for us to foster this type of matter. What are the long term goals? I understand that a bunch of scientist want to delve further into understanding our existence but unless this is some way for us to cure AIDS/cancer, power the world with a clean burning fuel, or help me grow a thicker mustache then I would prefer to see the 7.5 billion Euros used to create the LHC invested in some other scientific endeavor.

Tis the season...

Summer. It's the season of lounging by the pool, backyard BBQs, girls in bikinis, baseball, the NBA Finals, and most importantly... interns.

That's right. Nothing gets me more excited than a fresh batch of summer interns attempting to pack their resumes full of work "experiences". If your Company is anything like mine, then your HR office is completely incompetent and repeatedly hires the most socially awkward interns possible. Bad for the Company, terrific for me!

Last year's minivan driving, UT-attending, Panamanian, walking corpse of an intern punctuated his internship by delivering a rousing speech that ended with, "Thanks for not yelling at me."

I thought I still had a week before I could have the pleasure of laughing at some interns dumb mistakes. Imagine my extreme excitement when I didn't even have to wait until they started to get my first good laugh.

Below is part of an e-mail sent to my counterpart:

I had a few questions that I was told by my campus recruiter to address to you.
1. Will I be provided with parking in Dallas downtown? I will be driving to work and as far as downtown parking goes, I dont think it will be easy to find parking there. This is one of my biggest concerns because I am not good with parallel parking. Hence, it would really help out if I was provided a parking spot or a garage. Please do let me know what Bank of America can do about this concern I have.
2. For the orientation/training, will I be reimbursed for the transportation (taxi) and any other expenses (food)?
I am excited to start work on 8th June. Hopefully I wont let you all down.

I'm going to go ahead and say that "Hopefully I won't let you all down" is not a very confident way to finish an e-mail. But please future intern do not worry, you are already well on your way to exceeding my expectations. All you must do is continue to be awkward and write incredibly dumb e-mails and you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams (at least in my book.)

It's going to be a good summer!

CNN Keeps it Intresting

Feeling down this morning after a terrible Mavericks loss, I decided to head over to CNN, before being abused by ESPN, and the headlines and images below greeted me. I laughed, I cried, and then I de-friended the fetus on Facebook.

Horse Herpes

Facebook Fetus

Walmart of Weed

Mavs vs. Heat: 2006 NBA Finals Rematch

Tonight the Mavs will take on the Heat at 8 PM CST on ESPN. Game one is in Miami but I feel like we are going to open this series hot. Woo!!

Uuuhhh..Jowsh

Last week Ranger TV announcer John Rhadigan was ousted for Dave Barnett. Rhadigan was given an opportunity of a lifetime and just failed to capitalize. Frankly, he just wasn't that good. Maybe Barnett's time with the Rangers will be more successful and maybe he will prove himself perfect for the job but he will have to work hard to make me forget the squirrely geek who would stare wide-eyed into the camera and spout off absurd facts. Uuuhhh....Jowsh Lewin, I think I miss you.

Lewin was the Rangers play-by-play guy for nine years. He did a wonderful job of working absurd pop culture references and baseball nostalgia into his broadcasting. He was like a nerdy episode of Family Guy. Embracing goofy on-the-field antics like the claw and antlers, Lewin seemed to have as much fun in his role as broadcaster as the guys on the field did playing. I was sad to see him go and have been reminded of how much I miss his play calling by all the Jeff Van Gundy-esque comments by Rhadigan. Uhhhh.....Jowsh, I think I miss you.

Lewin continues to broadcast home games for the San Diego Chargers and he now hosts a midday talk show on 105.5 The Fan. Lewin is married with two kids and currently resides in Southlake, Texas. If you get a chance today shoot the elfish baseball nerd a quick email or tweet to let him know that, Uhhhh…Jowsh, we miss you.